At the depth of it all

So easily my mind slips from reality into desirability.
I twist and wrench the facts that make my wants a living, breathing thing.
The monster holds me begging to become the truth.
I frequently accept its embrace with little reluctance.
You are familiar, seductive and ugly.
You beckon me into your house.
Seemingly so innocently I trap myself, cuffing my own limbs to your will.
Why do I fall?
What calls me to return?
Why am I like this?
I am tripping backwards telling all in my path I am sprinting toward my God.

I want so badly to want so badly to want you. Yet still I WANT the familiar, seductive, and ugly.