To be yourself.

Empty.
Driving, striving lying, dying to know.
Live, breath, try to be. Hurt, pain, hope.
just words, but which constellation of words best describes who I am.
Thats the struggle; a fight to understand. desperate? Inconclusive? Unable? Distant?
Where am I? Can you relate? Who is this person in this body that I occupy. What is this pile of interconnected bones, but flesh and blood. Is there a relation to the universe that somehow holds me all together? eaten away by power of time and ill-configured situations in which no one is to blame. I am merely a victim to my own set criminal intentions. And in some way, the past, filled with deceit, lies, foolishness, and remorse, has created a being of which I've claimed as my own. So is this me? The drunken mishap? the Cussing fool? The lustful Predator? Or the unwillful prey? So in hopes of answering the question I'll put a string of words together that explains a personality wrapped up inside this skin.
Broken-hearted mishap, filled with unprojected plans and thoughts, slow to action, engulfed in remorse, clown, defiant, idiot, liar, episodic, Idiosyncratic, irrelevant, failure on all the wrong terms, son, brother, mentor, male, young, lively, distant, wrong, right, unsure, scared, unprepared to face the future at hand.
But these are just words that I've conjured without meaning they are just letters thrown into syllables to make incoherent sounds. Language of a cave man. Wounds can heal, words can slide off the surface making no impact.
This doesn't make sense, but it does.
Do not be affected by what people have named you or me. For these words are just ideas thrown together from miss-perception, and lack of understanding. No impact.
The best Idea I can put together on who I am. Is what I find in who Christ is. Because of this, we will never understand who we are, until we know who God is. Everything else that I believe to be myself, is merely a lack of understanding, and a miss-perception on my part. Hopefully.

Christ in me, the hope of glory