Answer, but speak quietly. The opening is beginning. The dance will start soon. The fluttering of the wings. The broken, hidden mishaps form into a spectacle on the center of the stage. No longer a child. He cries, gripping to the fading of his youth. Unspeakable features tend with age, shapely fingers, and large frames for glass cover once bright, and innocent round blue eyes. Clinging clothes keep the body warm. Cooling temperatures, the body slowly fading into a resonance of remembrance. Just remember the blue. The cold, welcoming blue. It heightens thought and breaks hearts. The thought keeps the mood light, but all know what lingers, just a step away, just an ignorant nurse, just a distracted driver, just a spark of light. Just. Fragile, in all ways. So afraid. So scared. We don't want to die, but we don't want to live forever. Stuck in limbo. Did I live right? Did I make use of what I was given? Should I have? Will I? Did I?
Just a moment, that's it. Then all things fade.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Psalms 13
Nothing is more killing to a soul than the want of God's favor; nothing more reviving than the return of it.
It is a constant battle. a war that will never end till Christ has completed us on the day of Resurrection. That question is always on our mind, that question should always be on our mind.
Where is God? Are you near me Lord? Each day a new thought stirred by a different emotion. We are fickle beings. Our mind and body age, but our heart stays young. From the moment it begins beating until the moment it stops, the human heart works tirelessly. The heart yearns for intensity whether through the excitement of joy or the distraught of sorrow; it is awoken by movement.
I must say I am inclined to follow such a stirring muscle group.
When troubles come it is easy to succumb to the desire to mold to the emotion attached. "How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever?(2) Our heart tells us with such confidence that the misery that is ever present is a direct cause from a growing distance between God and us. How easy it is to believe such an atrocity when our heart screams the feeling insanely. In such moments I must turn to my soul. For my soul knows that Christ will never leave me or forsake me. The Lord has called me out of my sins4 and has dealt bountifully with me.2 So I must lean on my soul for it knows the joy that comes from the salvation Jesus has given me. Despite the every raging thought, that I am at fault, for my sins are clamoring to be free, those closest to me have forsaken me, and my heart screams my God is far from me. Oh, how I must take refuge in the foundations that Christ has given me in him. My soul knows that the lord my God goes with me and He will never forsake me.(1) But for how long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? Will I live in misery always?
The conclusion I find myself clinging to is that if my hand causes me to sin then it must be cut off,(3) if my emotions cause me to stray I can no longer follow them. If I am to live with an ever lingering sadness, then so be it, for my soul knows. I can hold to the promise that as I trust in your steadfast love, oh God, that one day, I can hold to the thought where my heart and my soul align, where my desires fade and yours will shine, and from the depth of my being, my heart shall rejoice with my soul, the joy in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for He has dealt bountifully with me.(2) finally when I am asked Where is my Lord, my heart will respond He is here, my father always is.
(1) Deuteronomy 31:6
(2) Psalms 13
(3) Mark 9:43
(4) Deuteronomy 7:6
It is a constant battle. a war that will never end till Christ has completed us on the day of Resurrection. That question is always on our mind, that question should always be on our mind.
Where is God? Are you near me Lord? Each day a new thought stirred by a different emotion. We are fickle beings. Our mind and body age, but our heart stays young. From the moment it begins beating until the moment it stops, the human heart works tirelessly. The heart yearns for intensity whether through the excitement of joy or the distraught of sorrow; it is awoken by movement.
I must say I am inclined to follow such a stirring muscle group.
When troubles come it is easy to succumb to the desire to mold to the emotion attached. "How long O Lord? Will you forget me forever?(2) Our heart tells us with such confidence that the misery that is ever present is a direct cause from a growing distance between God and us. How easy it is to believe such an atrocity when our heart screams the feeling insanely. In such moments I must turn to my soul. For my soul knows that Christ will never leave me or forsake me. The Lord has called me out of my sins4 and has dealt bountifully with me.2 So I must lean on my soul for it knows the joy that comes from the salvation Jesus has given me. Despite the every raging thought, that I am at fault, for my sins are clamoring to be free, those closest to me have forsaken me, and my heart screams my God is far from me. Oh, how I must take refuge in the foundations that Christ has given me in him. My soul knows that the lord my God goes with me and He will never forsake me.(1) But for how long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? Will I live in misery always?
The conclusion I find myself clinging to is that if my hand causes me to sin then it must be cut off,(3) if my emotions cause me to stray I can no longer follow them. If I am to live with an ever lingering sadness, then so be it, for my soul knows. I can hold to the promise that as I trust in your steadfast love, oh God, that one day, I can hold to the thought where my heart and my soul align, where my desires fade and yours will shine, and from the depth of my being, my heart shall rejoice with my soul, the joy in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord for He has dealt bountifully with me.(2) finally when I am asked Where is my Lord, my heart will respond He is here, my father always is.
(1) Deuteronomy 31:6
(2) Psalms 13
(3) Mark 9:43
(4) Deuteronomy 7:6
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